Father was an unlucky soul. He cried and screamed to the heavens about her. How she had left him a broken man, she no longer loved him. But was it really her fault, when she tried to keep the failing marriage alive for so many years. It was only when I was old enough that she got the papers and divorced him.
On the day when she announced it, we were both in shock. He was shock because he believed they were okay regardless of how much he made her cry, and me because I didn’t think about them being separated. She told herself she would never forget what a bad marriage look liked and she reminded me constantly of it.
That was the day I figured that love never really last. I build the walls around my heart and continued with my life. All throughout school, college, and work I spend my time focused on myself. I convinced myself that love doesn’t last, and any guy I dated was out of curiosity, not to fall in love with them.
Living without any commitment at a distance away from love. I believed it was better, I told myself I was okay with being alone. Rather alone than in pain.
And yet here I am with a ring on my finger. As I gaze into the beautiful brown eyes of this man. He promises to take care of me. My hands gripping the table cloth. I’m a nervous wreck. Is this really happening? Does he really believe he will love me even after marriage? He has already proven himself to love me. He has never stop looking at me with that gaze full of love and admiration. We have been going out for years now, six to be exact. Anytime I found a reason or a way to pull away, he always pulled me back.
He notices how nervous I am. Putting his fork down, he comes around the table. Pulling my hands off the cloth, he bends down looking up at me. His sweet voice calms me down and he takes me into his arms. Reading me like a book, he knows exactly what to do.
Sweet, caring and understanding even when I was ready to walk away.
I look at the ring on my finger and look up and the house he has build for us. He has really tried and maybe he was what I needed to start believing that love could last a lifetime. It’s taking years and he is still tearing at the walls I have built. He hasn’t complained, he wants to know who I am. We have gotten this far. I’ll let him, I’ll trust him. After all we have a lifetime now.