Never could she imagine this is how she would spent her time. She believed if she pushed hard enough she would get a star role on broadway. She came from a small town in Utah and by a miracle she made it out of there, studying the arts in new york.
But the city overwhelm her and before she knew it doubt and anxiety slowly ate at her. She went from singing in small restaurants in her home state, to on a stage in her college winter concert. Now there was no where she feels where she could sing her heart out. Fear of not being as good as everyone else that came to this state, sharing the same dream she did.
Now the only time she felt she could sing was when she got home at 3 in the morning from work. Sighing she took off her shoes and began to change into her house clothes. The cold weather had her go for her fuzzy pants and a tank top. Going to the window of her living room she opened it climbing onto a small chair she had placed there. Pulling her feet to her chest she look out at the view. She was lucky to get a small apartment in Brooklyn so close to the edge. Yeah it was colder and harder to get to the train station but she had a great view of the city skyline. The fire escape blocked some of the view but she was grateful enough to see a part of downtown Manhattan.
At this time of the night it was peaceful everyone was asleep and the streets were deserted. Taking a deep breath she lets herself loose smiling as she begins to sing. “Turning over in my bed, Lose myself to dreams instead” she starts softly. She loved the artist Marian Hills, her music allowed more than just words to express, but a wonderful beat that accompanied. “Ghostly figures on the wall, Dreams of you have grown so tall”
As if right on cue she hears the window open from the floor right above her. Footsteps are quite as the person above her sits right outside their window. “Gone inside your talk, Inside a smile, I’m unraveling” she sings again and her voice is a little louder. Normally that would be strange and scary knowing that someone was listening to you sing at three in the morning.
“Morning Andrew” She says to him “Hi Lidia” he replies and rummaged around before passing her an open bottle of wine through the gaps of the stairs. Taking the bottle she pours herself a glass of it, in a cup that was already by her window pane. Taking a sip she lets out a deep breath and then continues to sing.
Andrew was her upstairs neighbor, he would often look out his window and stare at the city too. Once Lidia moved in he would catch her singing only late at night. It became his way to relax and eventually he had to meet the person behind the voice. But once he introduced himself, Lidia stop singing embarrassed that someone had heard her sing. It took him countless efforts to convince her, how good she was but she was incredibly shy. They became good friends and Andrew finally let Lidia know his reason for her to keep singing. It help relaxed him in the night with his PTSD.
Still her anxiety would really get the best of her and she couldn’t sing in front of him. It wasn’t until one night she felt home sick and began to sing that he had caught her singing and quietly moved to his window to listen. After that she started hearing him come to the window at night.
Not seeing him, meant he wasn’t there. Or at least that what she would tell herself, and eventually she got comfortable with singing to him. He always had a bottle of whiskey with him hoping to knock himself out with the drinks, but had toned it down to wine, so he could share the drink with her. Now at dusk she would sing for about 30 minutes, sometimes if he knew the song he would join in on some parts. His voice wasn’t high quality but it was smooth and masculine when he sang with her. It help build her confidence knowing they could harmonize so well.
Once the song was over, she takes a sip of her wine, letting the warmth of the liquid relax her. Taking a deep breath she sings again “You know you’ve got that thing,that makes the girls all swing, you know exactly what you do.” she starts out again, this time a little more upbeat. It definitely felt like a Marian Hill’s kind of night. “You like the hit and run,you say it’s all for fun,you think that I’m the one for you”
She was about to start singing the other verse, when she heard Andrew getting up making his way down the fire escape. “What are you doing?” she questions pulling herself back into her apartment. Sitting down in front of her he look her directly in her eyes. A look of admiration, that she couldn’t help but notice, and she felt her cheeks grow warm. Taking in his facial features. The sharp jaw line with a 5 o’clock shadow, his dark eyes, and his tan skin, and his slightly overgrown black hair.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why don’t you actually perform?” he questions “Tried it, not good enough” she says casually taking another sip of her wine. “But I am fine where I am, the spotlight means nothing to me” she lies.
“Darling, does it really scare you that much?” he questions reading her like a book. She averted her eyes, which landed on his broad shoulder. A scar that ran down from his shoulder to his elbow, with time it has healed. Even with his muscular arms, the scar has left a dented carved in it.
“I don’t want to talk about it” she says quietly. Nodding he understands, knowing the feeling all too well. “Okay, but just to let you know, you can go far with that voice of yours” he tells her. Making eye contact again she looked for a sign that he might be lying, but he seemed sincere with his compliment. Still she didn’t believe it. She knew she wasn’t good enough for the world. He gave her a small smile, before sitting down next to her on a small spot of her window. His back against the brick building he looks out into the horizon.
She takes in his frame once again, wondering how such a sweet person like him, ended up fighting in a war zone. “Can you sing that song by Bruno mars?” he asks and she can’t help herself but to smile at the request. She might not be enough for the world, but maybe she was enough for this one person. If her singing has made a difference in anyone’s life, it was definitely his.
“I know you’re somewhere out there, somewhere far away” She starts and he closes his eyes trying to relax. Whatever haunted him, she was able to make it go away. Maybe this was where she was supposed to be.